T is for Test (of the driving variety)

I hold my hands up in hang my head in shame – I am in my very (very) late twenties and I still can’t drive.

I grew up in London and moved to Hong Kong. I had no need for a car in London, I have even less of a need for a car in Hong Kong. Hence why I’ve done nothing to learn how to drive so far. At the same time though, I’m not in bad company. My favourite comedian Dara O’Briain didn’t learn to drive until he was 34. So I figure I have 5 years until it gets really embarrassing. I should *hopefully* be able to pass my test in the next 5 years but you never know. I might be that bad.

Anyway, it’s official, I’m finally doing something about it (and you know it’s official when it’s on the internet). I’ve signed up for driving lessons.

That’s driving lessons in Hong Kong. There’s probably going to be a session on how to toot your horn at everything that moves, and another on how to lurch around corners in a way that is guaranteed to make any passenger in the back carsick. So who knows what kind of driving skills I’ll finish up with, but at the very least I’ll have a piece of paper that says I can drive a car.

A piece of paper that I will promptly put away in a box and not look at again for years. But I’ll have it, and that’s worth something (I hope).

If you have any driving lessons advice – please share, as I will no doubt need a LOT of advice (I fear I may turn out to be a pretty poor driver, and every little bit helps). Otherwise, here is one of my favourite sketches from Dara O’Briain on what it’s like to learn to drive in your thirties.

I am praying that I have accumulated a bedrock of confidence that will allow me to deal with having someone beep their horn at me if I stall the car. So far, said bedrock of confidence is cowering in a corner somewhere and I can’t find it. I will report back after my first lesson (steady on, I’ve only just signed up, haven’t had time for a lesson yet. Need to psyche myself up first!)

Have you got any funny / bad stories from your early driving days? If so please share – mainly so I can feel better when I mess it all up once out and on the road!

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