Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

I have a confession to make. So far I’ve let you all believe that the writing on this blog (and on The Book, though you have not yet had the delight of sampling that particular bit of wordsmithery) is all mine, when it fact, very little of it comes from me.

You see, everything I write is meticulously torn apart edited by Blue Cat (look at those stern eyes, that disapproving stares as he picks out all my instances of weak writing):IMG_1688Once he has made clear what he wants to change, he is promptly shoved out of the way by Green Cat (who is by far the fatter of the two and therefore the winner of every tussle for Lap Domination). Green Cat then sits on my lap and gives me this “get to work, bitch” look, which continues until I have made all of Blue Cat’s changes and have reached my word count for the day (or until my legs have gone numb from lack of circulation, in which case it’s time for a writing break). IMG_1687Blue Cat, meanwhile, is still hard at work, inspecting the wastebasket for any adverb laden writing I might have tried to hide in there. He does this most days – he is nothing if not thorough, and I am nothing if not grateful when I’ve remembered to empty it before he’s had a chance to investigate. Because adverbs are not what you want strewn across your living room floor – even less so if they’ve been shredded by feline claws. IMG_1696After all the writing is done, Green Cat and I have a quick meeting to discuss Important Writerly Things. He reviews my progress so far and gives me my goals for the following day. This is how he likes to exude authority as CEO (Chief Eating Officer) although I’m not sure he realises that this sitting position does nothing to hide his gut.IMG_1671When his work is done, Blue Cat likes to unwind by hanging out in whatever bag/box/basket he can find. Of late the washing basket and The Husband’s golf bag are favourites (actually the golf bag looks kind of fun to hang out in, doesn’t it?). IMG_1675 IMG_1666Anyway, I felt I had to come clean – it didn’t feel right having you all think that I write this blog on my own. The guilt of my deception was eating at me (and the cats were getting shitty from the lack of recognition for all their hard work – which is fair enough).

Blue Cat, by the way, may consider contracting work in exchange for treats. If you’ve ever had any issues with your writing, I’d really recommend him as an editor, he’s done so much for me in just over a year.

Green Cat, on the other hand, only deals with people whose lap he is already familiar with. He’s fussy like that. If he changes his mind, I’ll let you know. There is nothing quite like feeling your legs grow cold and numb from the lack of blood flow to make you work faster.

Happy Friday everyone!

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30 thoughts on “Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

  1. I’m glad you came clean. I can just imagine the weight that’s come off your shoulder’s. In the end Blue Cat and Green Cat keep you in check which is great. (n_n)b It also helps that hey are adorable.

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  2. I wish I had my own feline editors. I may have to consider contracting Blue Cat since he may be willing. Unless he’ll leave cat hair on me. Hubs is very allergic. That could get ugly…

    Cute post!

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    • Ah – we are entering prime shedding season, when all the furniture gets delightfully reupholstered with cat hair. Now doesn’t that sound like a whole lot of fun to clean up?!

      I reckon you could train a dog to hunt for adverbs, though that’s not much an improvement on the hair situation….

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  3. Hilarious! Yes, Green Cat might consider a pilates program to tighten up that tummy!

    I watched Princess Bride yesterday and LOVED it. Mandy Patinkin is one of my favs and I would never have imagined he could play the Spaniard. “prepare to die.” As you say every scene, every line, every tickle of the funny bone, and true love and happy endings. Now I get to watch it all over again with the grandkids!

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    • Oh yes, Green Cat could do with some sort of cat gym membership. He’s so fat and any attempt to reduce his food intake is foiled because he eats Blue Cat’s portion, the cheeky thing.

      I’m SO glad you liked Princess Bride – always glad to meet someone else to throw random Princess Bride quotes at. “Inconceivable!”

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  4. I could loan my ‘time’s up’ kitty. He would jump on my papers when he thought I’d worked too long. Maybe bluecat and greencat will pick up new tricks to keep you balanced between writing and play — and feeding them! Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

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    • I like the fact that cats clearly specialise in different parts of the writing process – yours is obviously more in the work/play balance department. We should trade as and when needed! 😉
      And glad you enjoyed the post, thanks for stopping by!

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    • Cats do have a knack for picking out the one place they shouldn’t sit on, don’t they?
      To be fair I’m not sure how much of Green Cat’s staring can be attributed to pushing me to work – there’s a big dose of “pay attention to me and pet me now” thrown in there too.

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  5. Pingback: Introducing the newest member of the editing team | Celine Jeanjean's Blog

  6. Ha! I wish my cats were more helpful in the writing process. As of now, all Olive does is dim my monitor and then walk away without giving any instructions on how fix it. My other two just sleep on the couch.

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